During Listen Learn Love podcast episode 60: “Okay, I have privilege. Now what?,” I visited to discuss what to do after you realize that you’re in a privileged position. I talked about some of my learning, including an instance where I asked Heather for guidance and she connected me with people that I could observe online. During the episode, Delaney asked me to relay to the audience some of the things I’ve learned so that I can help others in their unlearning and relearning.  

At the end of the episode, I offered my contact information in case anyone wished to further discuss whiteness and how we can wield it for positive change. For context, episode 60 was recorded prior to the infamous “slap” but was aired after the Oscar ceremony. The week of the slap, Heather and Delaney recorded Episode 61: “Opinions, Everyone’s Got One” which spurred the following email interaction between myself and our fan, Leah*.

And for more information regarding our podcast please visit inpurposeea.com/listenlearnlovepodcast

*Names have been changed to ensure anonymity.

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“Hi Katie,

I’m an avid listener of the Listen Learn Love podcast, and I see that you are willing to answer questions about the journey of becoming an anti-racist.  Thank you for this!  I have a question about today’s podcast (episode 61- Opinions, Everyone’s Got One). 

In episode 60, you mentioned that it was appropriate to lift up Black voices. I reposted the attached from the D.L.Hughley Radio Show, because I like the message that he gives about giving grace, as we don’t know and cannot know what Will Smith and Chris Rock have experienced in their lives (different nuances, generational trauma, etc).  I have since deleted it as I saw Heather’s post about opinions. I also listened to today’s podcast and heard that I need to listen and not insert my opinion.  My question to you is was it inappropriate to repost it, as it is my opinion that I agree with the message of grace, or should I have left it alone?  I’m struggling with when I should say something or not.  The last thing I want to do is stick my opinion where it doesn’t belong.  Am I making this too complicated?  

Sincerely,

Avid Listener Leah”

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Hello Avid Listener Leah!

First off, thank you so much for being an avid listener of the podcast! To be honest, I haven’t even listened to the last one yet so I can’t reference it specifically but I can say that I probably know where Heather and Delaney’s viewpoint was. So here’s my take and hopefully it helps you.

As white people, we have grown up in a world where we are centered. Our experience is considered “the norm” and non-white is “other” when it reality – both are real and neither should hold any more weight than the other. Yet we all know this isn’t reality. White people have a tendency of adding their opinions to things that simply don’t necessitate our opinion. And Black people, from my understanding, are sick of hearing it. They’re able to hold their own opinions without needing us to impose ourselves upon. Whites are just so used to “being in the room” and NEVER excluded that it’s hard to sit with that. And that’s the hard part I think for white people to figure out – is that we’re allowed to be excluded in situations. It just feels weird to us because it’s never been the case.  

So SPECIFICALLY when it comes to the Chris Rock and Will Smith situation. That’s got NOTHING to do with me, Katie Sesti. That’s got NOTHING to do with you, Avid Listener Leah, that’s got NOTHING to do with anyone else white. But somehow white people have found a way to somehow shift the conversation to be about them and THEIR OPINION. When, frankly, why must I feel the need to share my opinion on a situation that has absolutely nothing to do with me. It’s between two men, and a husband and a wife. And no one else. No one wants to hear what I have to say. Much less an opinion that I draw a lot of conclusions about using my white lens of the world. I am not Black. I do not live in the Black community, so I do not get to speak on this issue because I do not have a deep understanding of the nuances of the pain and trauma Will, Jada, and Chris held in that moment.  I however, can “shut up and listen” (I know that’s rude, sorry, I’m not saying that at you by any means – it’s just my internal dialogue to use that phrasing) and learn from members of the Black community in moments like this. Like you did with D.L. Hughley and Heather. Let them speak about the moment from the lens of THEIR experience. I can then come to whatever opinion I want to. But then I don’t have to share it, because my opinion adds absolutely no value.  

With regards to when to amplify Black voices (and obviously the voices of LGBTQIA+, differently-abled, neurodivergent communities, etc.) – THIS is when we repeat, echo, and add volume… to issues that actually cause harm to the group as a whole. Trying to break down the systemic obstacles but doing it in the way that THEY within that community would like it to be done. It’s okay to share something that a Black (or gay, trans, or autistic, etc..) person posts, without adding your opinion to it. You’re amplifying their take without adding your input and making it about you.  Repeat what they say. Allow them in those communities to speak for themselves without inserting myself and making myself the protagonist.

So say Heather posts something that I really like. I simply share it. If I feel the need to add some words I say something like “Heather’s message is worth repeating” or “Heather says it best, please read.” I’d only share something regarding systemic issues that bring attention to the higher cause of fixing this world versus posting about my opinion on what Heather posted.

Maybe an internal question you could ask yourself is “Does my voicing my opinion add any value?” If it does – then of course share your feelings about how Columbus Day should be removed from a National Holiday and replaced with a National Election Day to help improve the voting access for ALL Americans. But my white opinion of Colin Kaepernick or Michael Vick is just not worthwhile regarding fighting for justice for all. And posting it on social media isn’t doing anything but adding noise.

Does that make sense?

Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH VERY much for reaching out. More than happy to keep the conversation going if you wish – video call or phone call is cool too.

 Thanks and have a good weekend! 

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Thank you, Katie! This answers my question really well. I appreciate you for taking the time to respond!  This is very helpful. 

-Avid Listener Leah

***Originally posted at https://www.inpurposeea.com/antiracism-response