Dear son, …

Hey White Moms!

What are YOU doing to teach your sons how to emotionally regulate?

Because if we’re not going to get rid of guns… let’s try and address another KEY ELEMENT to the mass shooting problem: teaching social emotional coping skills.

White boys need to learn that having feelings is normal. And that feeling them is healthy. No matter how shitty they feel. Feeling them is BETTER (in the long run) than it is to mask them. Asking for help is to know your own strength. It is not a weakness. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to set boundaries and advocate for yourself. It’s okay and it allows for you to be the best version you can be.

However, son, not everyone was raised this way. Including grownups (aka the previous generations aka those you typically look to for social guidance). Some people only learn anger. Some people have a different definition of love. Some people have problems and worries that you can't even fathom: ones that have nothing to do with you. So, sons, learn these lessons and then learn how to give others grace. Give them love. Show the way to emotional maturity. Asking for a hand is a better solution then asking for a gun.

Son, a gun will not solve your problem. Again, asking for help is to know your own strength.